While gathering the sheets from Anayah’s bed to add them to the weekly laundry, I found one of my notebooks under her pillow. I am very particular about my notebooks because they contain very valuable material. I was a little upset that she had hid my book and I called her in a huff to scold her for having it. While I was waiting for her to respond to my call, I decided to comb through the pages to see exactly how many pages she had soiled and as I angrily turned the pages, I stumbled on a letter she wrote for me. It said:
Wow talk about knocking me off my feet. Those words meant so much to me. It proved to me what I already knew, she is watching me. She is looking to me for examples. I felt in that moment that I had to start breathing life into the projects that I had shelved, because she is watching, and I want to be the best example for her. I do not want her looking outside for those examples. I must be more for her. When she finally made her way upstairs, I was choking on a lump that had cut off my regular breathing and I asked her about the letter. She recognized my eyes slowly changing from white to red, burning with choked tears and she just hugged me. So sweet this little girl.
I will hold on to this token forever. I will show it to her children too if she chooses to have any. Anayah is so full of surprises, she is that child that looks for my last strand of sanity and calmly strums it. She is so spirited and fights me on everything, and most days I just want to give up but that little token will keep me going. Thank you Anayah for seeing me, I love you.
