A Love Story - Our Happily Ever After!
How it Started
I was never a fairy tale, happily ever after kind of girl; I never dreamed of the perfect wedding day, the flowers, the dress, the cake, and so on. I knew happy endings did exist, but this whole sweeping off your feet and falling uncontrollably in love was not something I ever really focused on. I knew one day love would happen, but I did not have a deadline. Not that I did not believe it could happen to me, but because it was not on my radar. Well, that was the case until I met Brentnol.
My Parents Have Been Married for 49 Years
Before I talk about us, I want to talk about my parents, Samuel and Gloria. This year they will be celebrating their 49th wedding anniversary, which is beyond amazing. When they were celebrating probably their 30th, I remember asking my dad how is it possible to be with one person for that long? I could not wrap my mind around it, and I cannot remember the answer. I was in my early 20s at the time and just coasting. I recently asked the question, and my dad said getting divorced was not an option. I remember being in a relationship before and thinking that divorce was an option if it ever led to marriage. I can say to anyone having such thoughts, do not get married, exit stage left, and move on to scene 2 of your life.
How My Parents Met
My dad told me the story of when he first saw my mother. He remembered the day; they were both training to become teachers. They attended the Teachers Training College; she was late for class on that day – thank God she was, maybe he would not have seen her and I would not be here – so he had time to observe her and admired her. By the way, hearing my parents speak in this manner is not weird at all (sarcasm, it is totally weird, but hey, everyone goes through this. Lol).
As time went by he continued to find ways of getting her attention and soon enough they had friends in the same circles and they started chatting and having those lengthy conversations (in my time it was phone conversations, no you hang up, no you hang up, ok let’s count to 3, hey you didn’t hang up). Back in the day, the courting scene was different, but I like the whole scene he described. My mom is a very reserved lady, shy I might say but when I was talking to my dad about their courtship, she was chiming in and saying things like of all the college men, she only saw him (nope, not weird at all).
My Parents’ Love
Daddy described mommy as the stabilizing force in his life. He said he was quite the sweet boy (sweet boy is Guyanese for a player) when he met her, but he did not want anything or anyone to ruin the relationship with my mom. So, he started distancing himself from other friendships. I guess he was that confident that she would be his wife. As they continued to develop their friendship and relationship, he liked that she was intelligent, tranquil, peaceful, and a great conversationalist. They would go on long walks holding hands, and nothing else mattered in the world, just the two of them being present in that moment. When college broke for the holidays, they continued their relationship via mail.
They had special stationery they used to craft their love letters and would look for the postman weekly to get that delivery. My dad’s older brother would hide the letters from my dad and when he was on the brink of frustration, my uncle would produce the letters, and all was well again. My dad remembers a song called Private Number by William Bell that was apparently “their song” that kept him going when they were apart. Just to hear him sing those words to me the other day was the sweetest thing ever. To see my dad in that boyish way, love does that, I guess. My parents were married shortly after and the rest is 49 years of history. My dad grew up in the city but after they got married moved to the rural setting to be with his love. Now that is love.
My parents with my eldest sister
How I Met Brentnol
So back to Brent and me, he is love personified. I, like my dad, remembered my mom, remember the first day I saw Brentnol. We worked for the same company at that time. It was a Christmas meeting of sorts for staff, and he was receiving an award, having done an excellent job in his department. I saw this being gliding up the aisle to collect his prize, and I was like, who is he? Then I turned to my bestie LeeAnn and said, I will marry him. She thought I was joking as I usually did 99% of the time, but not this time; something just clicked. Apparently, fairy tales were real at that moment because he was my prince, my knight in shining armor, my love. I had to get his attention, but there is a backstory, at least two of them.
Brentnol had this same experience of seeing me when we were at University together, but he admired me from a distance. I knew all his friends from University, but I did not know him, at all. How is it that I never saw him before? Or did I see him but not notice him? Whatever it was, I am happy I met him when I did because I do not think I was mature enough to have been in a relationship with him then. Brentnol knew from the beginning what he wanted his life to look like, his major, his career, his business, and then there was me. I knew my goals, but they were not that cemented like his, so I think we met at the right time.
I managed to get his phone number, and I called him, and that was it, connection, not just the call, but our minds, immediately. We would talk for hours, into the wee hours of the morning about everything; when we were together, nothing else mattered. We could be in a room full of other people, but our focus was always on each other. I did not recognize myself anymore – all the clichés and lovey-dovey things were now me. I guess with the right person, these things are revealed.
In this relationship, divorce was not an option. We quickly moved from friends to having a relationship, being engaged, and being married. Brentnol had all the right qualities to be my partner for life; I liked the most about our courtship when he asked my father’s permission to marry me. My dad gracefully obliged, and here we are, 11 years and four children later and going strong.
Our Happily Ever After
Marriage, to me, is having friendship as your foundation, mutual respect, open lines of communication, love, and patience, to name a few. We have gone through just about everything in our 11 years, and we have both grown so much. Now we get to be the examples of what love and longevity should be for our children. Our wedding was a simple one, just about seven persons total, but it was magical, and our next wedding will be even more magical because our four children will get to be a part of it. Here is the other backstory. Eleven years ago, before my grandfather-in-law passed, he told Brent and me a story that stuck with me.
The story involved our families being connected via friendship many years before us. I was amazed to find out my mother-in-law was named after my mom’s eldest sister. What are the odds? I am forever grateful to grandfather for sharing that story with us. It made us feel like we were destined to be. On this 11th wedding anniversary, we are still loving and growing strong, so I guess it is true, this is our destiny. Happy Anniversary to us Brent here is to writing many more cliché filled chapters in this fairy tale ending of ours. I love you.