The Truth About Mom Burnout

Today I slept in late. My 5 am wake-up just felt a little too much to entertain today; my body needed to rest. Often, we buy into everything we should be doing right, and we forget one of the most important things: rest. So today, I rested.

The Truth About Mom Burnout

Burnout Triggers

Simply put, last week was hard; I was suffering from a new level of burnout. The burnout stemmed from juggling online school, keeping the children fed, attending soccer matches, physio appointments, keeping a tidy space, laundry, and everything else in between. As a result, I felt heavy; I couldn’t lift my limbs. It was as if death was making its way through my limbs and weighing me down. So, I started to run in place to give my body some oxygen, but my feet could only make it that far off the floor.

Panic and anxiety stepped in to assist their pal burnout. I mean, if you are having a party, you might as well bring the entire crew. I tried to breathe deeply, but short breaths of desperation oozed out my nose and mouth. As a result, I decided to sit for a little and take in my surroundings. The dishes from lunch were there waiting to get done. The kids did a fine job tossing all the cushions and went back to online class, blind to their mess. Dinner would soon roll around, and that had to be done too.

Get Help If You Can

Brent was away; he was suffering from burnout too. His heart rate had been so high for the past month that his sleep had been affected, and he needed time away, as we all do. When he’s at home, at least I have those extra hands to help, and you never understand how much those hands help until they are gone. I started talking to myself and referred to my list of things I could control in that time and space and slowly crawled from under the grasp of what felt like death.

I Switched Things Up

That afternoon after school, I broke the routine up a bit. I left everything as it was. So what if the laundry and dishes are dirty? Who cares? Is a spick and span everything more important than my mental health? NO. So, I took the children out for a drive; we went to the dollar store to get snacks. In the dollar store, you get to feel like Oprah; you get candy, you get candy. We had McFlurries from McDonald’s, and we talked and enjoyed one another’s presence and company. It felt so good. A small change in the monotonous routine felt so good.

The Truth About Mom Burnout
The Truth About Mom Burnout
The Truth About Mom Burnout

You Are Not Alone

Last weekend, at a soccer tournament, I was chatting with one of my soccer mom buddies, describing my week. She listened so intently and then thanked me for sharing with her; she was feeling so alone. She had a similar experience, and she was going crazy. We laughed when we compared notes about the simple things that we put pressure on ourselves about. That conversation was good for both of us.

This piece is for all moms suffering from burnout, mom guilt, and everything else in between; know that you are not alone. There will be those days when it feels like death; switch up your routine, go to bed early, figure it out tomorrow. We have to be whole and healthy for ourselves and then whole and healthy for everyone else. And believe me, I understand it’s easier said than done, but it is definitely something we can work towards achieving. Brent is back, I have my extra pair of hands, and my burnout has left my domain. 

What’s Next?

It is now my turn to go somewhere, alone, for a mental break, and the thought of leaving my children behind is scaring me. I can probably start with a trip to the mall, go out and touch a few shirts and then go back home with the cutest outfits for the kids. I am a work-in-progress. A wine tour of Niagara country with my girls sounds excellent too. I’ll start planning. In short, the truth about mom burnout is that’s it real, and it’s vicious.

I am Malaika. I am the writer that owns and manages this blog –  #thelohrahtwins. I use my blog as an outlet to highlight the path I am on as it relates to motherhood, lifestyle, food, travel, and fun. For more stories, please subscribe. This story “The Truth About Mom Burnout” is the reality for many women. If you have a similar story you’d like to share, please feel free to share it with us in the comment section.

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19 Replies to “The Truth About Mom Burnout”

  1. I love this (but then I love everything you post). I’ve written about Mommy Burnout recently, because I’ve been feeling it too. It’s been so easy to fall into burnout with everything happening in our world right now. We are needed to fit so many roles and juggle too much. I feel like society often likes to gloss over the mental suffering of motherhood, so it’s important that there are people in the world shining a light on this.

    1. Thank you so much. I will check your own out as well. I agree with you, it’s easy to fall into burnout, but it’s important to recognize it and readjust. I was so afraid when I was going through that last episode; it was hard to label when I was going through it. It felt like death. Society does indeed gloss over our mental suffering, but we have to be our strongest advocates.

  2. I am glad someone (you) is speaking truth about the struggles of being a parent. I just became a mother of two beautiful babies under 2 and sometimes I think I am doing too much juggling everything. I wouldn’t even stop to think that I might be burned out and its only the beginning.

    1. Aww, I remember that two under 2 stage, and it was a lot. My advice is to take it easy, do what you can when you can, and get help. The thing is, when I was burnt out, I was so irritable, so the kids were getting the short end of the stick. Everyone wins when mama is whole.

  3. Wow, I think every mom can relate. I used to think it would get easier when my children got older …but it got busier.. for a while at least. It became important for me to schedule time for me! It’s so important to give our selves the rest & mental break. So glad you got the kiddos out and had a mini adventure. Like you said the dishes can wait.

    1. Lol, dishes can definitely wait. I have started doing errands alone like once a week. It takes about an hour, but it feels so good to be by myself. I have to chalk it up to something bigger soon.

    1. Thank you for reading. Our bodies constantly give us cues when a change needs to be made. I have to start listening more.

  4. This is all so familiar. I find myself going weeks without a break and do get to that burnt out stage. It’s no joke! As mom’s we tend to feel like we have to do it all but there is a breaking point and we all have to intentionally take some time for self care. Tough sometimes to step away form our ever demanding role – mom guilt is also real y’all – but “momcations” are needed.
    Thank you so much for putting this piece together, too often we stay silent about these truths because of what is expected of us.

    1. I feel like I have been going for the past ten years, and since having the twins, it has been amplified. Mom guilt is accurate, and it is a work-in-progress for me because momcations are so necessary. I want to make the decision to take time out and not feel like I am doing something wrong. Our cups need to be replenished, and a momcation is undoubtedly one way of getting that done. We should make a pact for no more silence; it’s time to be more vocal. We need help.

    1. Thank you, my dear. I like to share my experiences to spare others the experience themselves. Also, to let persons that may be having the same feelings know that they are not alone.

  5. What a timely reminder in this busy world we live that we need ‘me’ time. After being a mother, wife, friend etc, you are also an individual with needs too, which often get neglected when fullfilling your other roles. Mental health is one of the health areas we often neglect as it is often silent and creeps up on us suddenly. Thanks for reminding us that we need to be more holistic in our approach to health, to consider our mental health too. God Bless.

    1. Thank you for reading and providing feedback. Mental health is indeed an area of neglect and it is something that I have been focusing more on. I have become more selective and putting me first and sometimes I do feel a tinge of guilt but I am working on that too.

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